a step closer

This morning, I was reading yesterday's newspaper (yep, was terribly busy yesterday..no time for morning papers) and something caught my eyes..it was a commentary on books and the name of the writer was familiar..wait a minute..it's ME!!!!!!!!!! I was sssoooo happy...to me my dream of becoming a writer has moved an inch (or maybe only half inch) closer. I write a short article on the paper's web blog a few weeks ago and it was selected to feature in the 'real' newspaper..maybe other people would see this as trivial but to me, it is an accomplishment to be proud of. And really boost my spirit to pursue writing and that is what I am doing now. Usually I would drag myself to blog because I don't think I would ever make it as a writer (who gets paid a lot, of course!). But today, my self esteem has risen a level higher...maybe it is just a small step but a step nonetheless. I should give myself a pat on the back..patting my back now...

reality bites

Today, I put on my jeans that I haven't worn for quite a while. It turned out to be a bit too tight...GASP!!!!!!!!! Didn't realised I have put on so much weight. I admit that I haven't been exercising for a looooooong time, since we came to Malaysia for good..no time, with all the housework that I have to do, I thought that would be enough to make me sweat and burn the fat..apparently not!!!!!!!! So today, after sending the kids to school, I decided to find my dusty Pilates CD and do some exercises. My goodness...I am so stiff!!!! I can't even straighten my legs properly...and Pilates does require alot of extending..gosh..it hurts sooooo much!!! But today perseverence is my best friend..endured the 30 minutes workout..and boy I feel so proud!!!!!!! But I know my body is going to ache like hell tomorrow....well, no pain no gain...refuse to admit that as we are getting older, our metabolism will decrease..or is it just an excuse people use to eat whatever they want and gain weight without feeling guilty? hmmmm....anyway...hope this exercise today is not my last..who knows, tomorrow I might be eating some roti canai or some mamak noodle..hehe..maybe I should hang the jeans on my fridge as a reminder....

Mommy's girl...

This morning, as I was waiting for my kids to get into their classrooms, two moms came over with theirs kids. One girl, named, Natasha, is a very cheerful and sweet girl, immediately greeted my daughter, her classmate, good morning. She is always happy and smiling. And another girl, named, Zara, was complaining about something to her mom, with a unhappy face. The thing is this doesn't happen only today. Almost every morning, the scenario is the same. From my observation (yep...I kill time by analyzing people..it's fun some time)..Natasha's mom is the very cheerful type while Zara's mom is always frowning..I guess the kids pick up the mood from their mothers...or in general, their surroundings...I think it is important to have a positive vibe around your kids, they have this sixth sense if anything is wrong. Sometimes, when I had fights with my hubby, my kids would sense something and immediately they would behave extra nice because they know mommy was not in a good mood...It is not easy sometimes to be positive ALL the time but as parents, it is our responsibility...and someone told me that NEVER fight in front of the kids. So as I was boiling inside, wanting to scream at my husband, I just have to put on a smiling face in front of the kids and be patient..good practice actually to keep yourself calm. Who said being a parent is easy..it's a huge responsibility but it's also an even bigger joy!!!!!

Why do moms worry all the time?

My little girl started to go to the big school. And she is really excited about it and had no problem in adjusting..very well I must say..on the first day, she didn't even cry. and i didn't have to wait but i did, at least until snack time..worry if she wouldn't eat her snack and would go hungry. She was so excited that she had only a few spoons of cereal for breakfast. Before leaving, I think I told her a thousand times to eat her lunch, not to play on the monkey bars, drink her water, listen to the teacher..bla..bla..bla....if I were her, I would scream "I know!!!!!" . But not her, she just nodded her head like the toy with the bouncing head..whatcammacalit again?

At home, I was praying that she eats her lunch. And decided to go extra early to fetch her...waited and waited and worrying if she is okay. The bell rang and out they came from the class. She was beaming and ran towards me. I hugged her and boy, do I miss her even though it was only for six hours. Was so glad that she was okay. On the way home, she was telling me about what she did in school, her new teacher and friends. When I asked her whether she had her lunch.."Just s little bit Mommy coz I have to go and play"...and she finished her lunch in the car. She did okay for the first day..I didn't have to worry after all but guess that what moms do..ALL THE TIME....

A great time with my loved ones

Our Chinese New Year long weekend was simple..we stayed home..but we had a great time..it was just relaxing and fun spending quality time with the loved ones. At first, we wanted to go somewhere out of town but the hotels were all fully booked..and it dawned upon me, why would we want to go where everybody wants to go..crowded places is not the type of place I would want right now. So want we did was had fun in our own hotel..we cooked, well, actually my husband cooked, we went to watch a movie, played Uno, watched tv..the Australian Open is on...went out for dinner..to me, it was perfect. My kids loved it and my hubby enjoyed being at home..a well deserved break...especially now, with the economic crisis going on..we need to think of activities that doesn't involved a lot of money..but I still want to go to Bali...

"Malaysianising" my kids

You see, my kids were born in a foreign country..let that country be anonymous for the time being..for them, Malaysia is a place where we go for a holiday. So when we had to come back to Malaysia for good, it puzzled them why we had to leave their birth place and stay in a "foreign" country. We had to explain to them that we are Malaysians and that is our home. My eldest son had a harder time than his little sister because he had made a lot of friends in his school and around the neighbourhood that he felt it was not fair for us to leave the place. Plus the fact that he doesn't speak Malay, sacred him even more. This is from the previous visits to Malaysia where his cousins would refused to play with him because he can't speak Malay and they were not very good (and shy) conversing in English. We told him that it will be okay and he'll fit in eventually.

The first few months were tough, they missed their nanny and mommy wasn't exactly the happiest person on earth as she had to do all the housework (yep, mommy missed the nanny too!!). Life is not as luxurious here as it was overseas. We had to adjust ourselves to a few things and it was not easy. After a while, things started to settle down and my kids gradually "embrace" Malaysia. They were excited to see on TV the national day parade and kept saying merdeka and flying the flag for the whole week..it was a teary-eyed moment for me. And when it was raya time, they couldn't wait to salam everyone coz they know they are going to get money. My son was aiming to buy a BMW with his raya money..yep, very ambitious. Not that we didn't celebrate raya when we were overseas but the atmosphere is different when you are home, much more happening..

My son's favourite meal now is nasi lemak, he can eat that anytime of the day..and that is easy, mommy can just buy at the stall. My daughter loves the taufufa..really look forward to go to pasar malam! They are slowly learning Malay, now they understand more or less what we say but they still are not confident in replying in Malay..at least they are trying.

I told my kids that we might have to go and stay in another foreign country again for a few years. My son said he wish we can just stay in Malaysia as it is the best place in the world! How about that...my kids have been "Malaysianised"..

It's time to go

Just talk to my friend whose mom just passed away a few days ago. I know I should have called earlier but didn't have the guts to do it. I just don't know what to say, and even if I do, i could not say it coz I'd be all choked up. And yes, I did all the crying just now, and she sounded so calm telling me how her mom got sick and was admitted to the hospital, within 24 hours, my friend lost her mom. But she is glad her mom didn't suffer. And she had the privilege to mandi and kapankan her mom, which made cried me even harder. She really took care of her mom during her last day but she was a bit disappointed coz she was not there when her mom passed away as she was home for a while to see her three kids. All I managed to say was I hope she'll be okay and told her even though it really hurts, time heals.

This one I know as I also lost my dad 15 years ago. And it was sudden, heart attack. He left in the morning to go to a meeting when my brothers and I were still sleeping, the next thing we knew, his friend came to tell us he was in the hospital. What we didn't know, that he died on the way to the hospital. It was devastating for us especially my mom. We didn't have the chance to say goodbye and asked for forgiveness. The night before, we went out for a dinner, not knowing that was our last one together with my dad. And before he went to bed, he told me to take care of the house coz he felt tired. It sounded weird but I didn't take notice of it. Only now I know what he meant. How I wish we had more time with him but when it's to go, it's time to go, no matter what. Al-Fatihah.